What Celebrities Are Doing

The Cheryl and Ashley Saga is like that annoying mole on your face that everyone stares at. You loathe it, the rest of the world is obsessed with gawping at it, yet the only way to make it disappear is to have it surgically removed. We’ve been trying for years to make it all disappear but we’re yet to find a dermatologist with a laser big enough for both Cheryl and Ashley. Alas, in the meantime, we must report the latest chapter in the Colegate tale: Ashley’s been supplying gyrating girls with alcohol and he’s going for dinner with the Tweedys.

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