What Celebrities Are Doing

Running, women, fun, erections. Those things are all distant memories now. All that stands between you and death’s frosty grip is around 40 years of vomiting children, rapidly expanding spouses and systematic organ failure. Smiling is just a futile exercise, muscle groups practicing for an event that will never happen. Oh woe is you. Quickly though, while you’re able, you must spend money, lots and lots of money. Unnecessarily expensive items are the only thing keeping insanity from your breakfast bar. Buy them. Buy them all.

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