What Celebrities Are Doing

Dear Katy Perry, you seem nice, but there’s only so much you can fix by packing a perky pair of tits into a latex dress. Constantly harping on about how much you love Brits just so we don’t hate you as much as Madonna is almost as irritating as your ex-junkie fiance’s stand-up. Who, incidentally, we were kind of hoping you’d take off our hands. For good. 

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