What Celebrities Are Doing

We’ve not heard much from puss-faced, fat junkie Pete Doherty recently – we thought he’d packed his York Notes Poetry Guide in his cloth sack and headed off into the smog like Dick Witless months ago, but apparently he recently attempted a trip back to civilisation. Luckily this was thwarted by Amy Winehouse. Thank you, Winehouse. Now rest in peace. 

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