What Celebrities Are Doing

Though their relationship ended months ago, Chantelle Houghton and Alex Reid’s interpersonal drama continues to burn bright like a thousand suns. This is ostensibly down to them being just fascinating, fascinating people, but is more honestly due to the fact that they are willing to spill the beans on literally any aspect of their lives for a few column inches and the chance to have a headline that says something like “MY ALEX SHAME!” or “I HATE CHANTELLE HOUGHTON FOREVER IDST!” or “SEX DUNGEON IN MY HOUSE WHICH DIDN’T HAVE A DUNGEON LICENCE!”

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Shia LaBoeuf and Alec Baldwin had a small but very public falling out recently, which we covered in depth here. The end result of the argument was that Shia came out covered in shit while Alec actually managed to do quite well from it, especially given that only a few weeks before a US senator had tried to ban the 30 Rock actor from TV for being a racist.

But LaBoeuf decided a few days ago that he would go on television (on the Letterman Show) in the hopes of finally explaining why the fight started and also why everyone seems to think he’s such a pretentious meat-head.

“I’m pretty passionate and impulsive . . . and he’s pretty passionate as well. That passion and impulsiveness makes for some fireworks.mMe and Alec had tension as men. Not as artists, but as men. In a room, that became a hard thing to deal with. When you’ve got tension as men, that’s tough till July. It’s cool for increments, but to do that for a long period of time would have been tough.”

Letterman then asked the Even Stevens actor: 

“Can I suggest a couple of scenarios. Alec went to the producers and said, ‘I can’t take it another day, fire him.’”

To which LaBoeuf replied:

“I think that might have been what happened. I think that’s what you’ve got to say [creative differences] as a business-savvy answer for what actually happened,”

For someone who can’t seem to stop talking about what a man he is, it seems like posting private emails up on a social network site is a pretty childish thing to do. Then again, he is still playing with Transformers. BOOM BOOM.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Alex Rodriguez was back at the ballpark for opening day, but the Yankees weren’t running to embrace him.

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Alex Rodriguez was back at the ballpark for opening day, but the Yankees weren’t running to embrace him.

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Things are looking up in Kansas City. After three consecutive seasons of underwhelming quarterback play, the Chiefs finally got their man — well, he’s at least en route. Alex Smith will be the Chiefs’ new starting quarterback in 2013, after the 49ers agreed to a trade him on Wednesday. Smith brings his experience, leadership and, [...]

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Deal with Kansas City Chiefs, unofficial till March 12, would net San Francisco 49ers two draft picks

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Having been unable to see his daughter since he was found in a DIY sex dungeon by her mother should probably have somehow precluded Alex Reid from giving other people relationship advice. Legally, you’d think. But apparently the state of the judicial system in th UK is so bad nowadays that not only is he allowed to offer other people his thoughts on their situations, he’s allowed to do it in a printed publication that people can buy in newsagents around the country. It’s broken Britain alright.

Because he’s really only famous for being more of an arsehole than his ex-wife, he’s kept the subject of his most recent piece of advice limited to his marriage to the ballon-chested horse entrepreneur, specifically what her new husband, Some Guy Who Was On EastEnders Once, should expect from it and her.

As mentioned though he is a bit of a dopey twat, and as you’d expect from a man who gets punched in the head professionally, the advice was given in the most self-serving, hubristic way possible; an ‘open’ letter to Now Magazine. Considering he also writes a column for the mag, we’re not quite sure why it’s an open letter, but perhaps we just don’t understand publishing these days*

Anyway, here’s the letter in as full a form as we can make it:

“Dear Kieran, You’re now officially on the Katie Price roller coaster ride.”

“I’ve been there and I just about survived! As much as you probably don’t want to hear it from me, I have some friendly advice for you.”

“Although we’d go absolutely mad at celebrity parties and drink like crazy, it was always the next morning I treasured. I’m sure you know what happens. Katie would be really hungover. She’d be pale and blotchy but she was never more beautiful to me.”

“I got a request to do a mag interview on my own. I wanted to do it, but Katie said no. Don’t get too comfortable with fame. Katie and I had a fight once and she looked at me and said, ‘It isn’t all about you. You’ll never be as famous as me’.”

“She didn’t like my clothes. She styled me to look like a boy band member in skintight jeans tucked into the boots and very tailored stuff.”

“Kate can switch on and off. Being with Katie is like being with Jekyll and Hyde. You have to keep her happy. I spent every penny I had on her. I bought her engagement ring for more money than I’d earnt in three years put together.”

“Your life will be on camera. I was hardly ever alone with Katie. That’s your life now. Katie used to tell me that she made me. That hurt. I remember once she said, ‘You’re as bad as Pete [Andre]‘. I felt like I was being compared with the devil incarnate at the time. She used to talk about him in such a bad way.”

“The sex was amazing at first but it fizzled out. She used sex as a weapon. Grow a thick skin, keep your old friend and don’t do things just to please others. Oh, and don’t trust anyone at all.”

“One last tip: Don’t ever buy Katie cheap necklaces. I got in quite a lot of trouble for that. I remember her saying, ‘Just buy me Louis Vuitton in future and I’ll be happy.’ The kicker was that the necklace I’d bought her wasn’t even cheap – actually, it was bloody expensive.”

“I genuinely wish you and Katie happiness. Good luck, Alex Reid.”

What awful, awful people they all are. Awful.

*It’s quite possible.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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