What Celebrities Are Doing

Fortunately for Madonna, she’s now past the stage where anyone minds if she says or does something crazy. She’s managed to pack enough hits into her career that even fully grown men with large testicles and a fondness for cheap lager will happily pay to watch her in concert.

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"I believe the Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties, and Property of the People…"

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Now that Raf Simons looks like the most likely contender for the top job at Dior, Marc Jacobs has spoken out to say, actually, he wasn’t interested in the position at all – quite eloquently really. Oh, and he also adds that he won’t be spending his Christmas with his family because, well, he doesn’t love them. Reason enough. Don’t feel too sad for him, though, because he might be getting a served a rather massive portion of meat courtesy of his rumoured new porn star boyfriend instead.

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Since Chris Cooley’s playful joy at Tony Romo choking begat paid media members saying Cooley was “an idiot” and “foolish,” it’s obviously time to transcribe a Cooley follow-up podcast with SI.com’s Jimmy Traina. The man is single-handedly keeping me busy during the bye week, and for that I’m ever-so-grateful. Read full article >>

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Why didn’t Alec Baldwin show up at the 62nd Emmys last night? Though it was previously reported the actor skipped after Fox cut a Rupert Murdoch joke he filmed for the telecast, Baldwin said he simply chose to attend a birthday party instead. In New York for Tony Bennett’s 85th birthday gala, the actor told

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America has riots all the time. It’s kind of like the monsoons for them. Every year they arrive, loot, plunder, impregnate and then leave for warmer climes. So if anyone knows how to deal with an unruly rioter it’s the Yanks. But what do they do? How do they keep those rascally bastards from destroying their towns and Carpet Rights? They send wrestlers. Loads of them.

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It’s always nice when reality stars can take a moment out of their schedules to explain to all us regular folk what it is that has enabled them to make six and seven figure sums simply by occasionally driving to the shops or arguing with a family member. After all, those are things everyone else does all the time, and we very rarely get asked to do anything on camera other than show our tits. We don’t even have tits, Omegle. We don’t even have them.

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