What Celebrities Are Doing

Above is the trailer for Jennifer Aniston’s new movie We’re The Millers. It looks fairly terrible. We don’t recommend you rush to your nearest cinema to watch it. But if you’re in the minority who don’t take all their film tips from us at Holy Moly, then go ahead and watch the trailer to make up your own mind. At least then you’ll get to see a 3 second clip of Jennifer Aniston in her underwear.

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Beyonce is reportedly pregnant with her second child, Mariah Carey snubs Jennifer Lopez during the American Idol finale, and Denise Richards reveals a slim bikini body: See Us Weekly 's top 5 stories from Friday, May 17 in the roundup!

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The GLAAD (formerly the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) awards took place on Saturday night. We’ve listed the winners of the awards below, however in our gallery we’ve got Jennifer Lawrence, a transgender woman with her boobs out in a see-through top, an exceptionally smug looking Perez Hilton and Ted Danson. Ted Danson, will wonders never cease?

We’ve got to ask though, how is Emma Emma Watson winning so many awards? Everything she touches seems to do well. It’s mystifying. MYSTIFYING.

WINNERS:

Advocate for Change Award: Bill Clinton, presented by Harvey Weinstein and Jennifer Lawrence

Stephen F. Kolzak Award: Steve Warren, presented by Leonardo DiCaprio and Charlize Theron

Outstanding Film – Wide Release: The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Summit Entertainment), accepted by writer-director Stephen Chbosky with Logan Lerman, Johnny Simmons and Mae Whitman

Outstanding Comedy Series: The New Normal (NBC), accepted by co-creators Ryan Murphy and Allison Adler with Andrew Rannells, Justin Bartha, Georgia King, Jayson Blair, NeNe Leakes

Outstanding Individual Episode: “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Me What to Do” Raising Hope (Fox), accepted by show creator Greg Garcia with Cloris Leachman, Shannon Woodward

Outstanding TV Movie or Mini-Series: American Horror Story: Asylum (FX), accepted by show creator Ryan Murphy

Outstanding Daily Drama: Days of Our Lives (NBC), accepted by: Freddie Smith

Outstanding Talk Show Episode: “At Home with Neil Patrick Harris, His Fiancé David Burtka, & Their Twins” Oprah’s Next Chapter (OWN)

Outstanding Los Angeles Theater: The Children by Michael Elyanow

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No, they’re not leeches, they are of course the marks left by the ancient art of cupping. Jennifer is a cupper. She gets cupped. Cupping is something she often does. For her to be cupped is a joy. But what is cupping? Here’s a quick, (possibly inaccurate) summary by Wikipedia:

Cupping therapy is an ancient Chinese form of alternative medicine in which a local suction is created on the skin; practitioners believe this mobilizes blood flow in order to promote healing. Suction is created using heat (fire) or mechanical devices (hand or electrical pumps). A partial vacuum is created in cups placed on the skin either by means of heat or suction. It can leave temporary bruised painful marks on the skin and there is also a small risk of burns

Wonderful stuff. A complete waste of time and money, you say? Nonsense. Why would someone as smart and successful as Jennifer Aniston waste her hard earned cash on what’s essentially an artificial lovebite if wasn’t 100 percent proven science? Don’t you know anything about Hollywood? Just listen to what the American Cancer Society had to say about the practice:

“Available scientific evidence does not support cupping as a cure for cancer or any other disease”

WELL MAYBE SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE SHOULD STOP BEING SO CLOSE MINDED AND ACCEPT THERE ARE THINGS WE DON’T UNDERSTAND, LIKE HOT CUPS.

Here’s a video of it in action. Starts about two minutes in. Don’t mind the presenter. 

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Hello there, Sebastian Theroux – nice to meet you. Please do tell us about yourself – the internet will only confirm that you’re too young for us to be having this one-way conversation with (23). See ya then – say hi to Louis. We’ll look out for you in Jennifer Aniston’s wedding album later this month.

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Jennifer Lawrence could say any old shit at this stage of her trajectory and everyone would lap it right on up, saying, ‘you fart in your yoghurt before you eat it? You are just incredible‘, but luckily she’s still being quite wise – which is one of the reasons why we liked her in the first place, so that’s come nicely full circle for a change, hasn’t it? Not like when we normally start liking people and then they get all weird and start lurking round outside Greggs. But anyway, Jennifer Lawrence is still being great – hooray…

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In news that will shock and surprise absolutely no one, Harry Styles fancies Jennifer Lawrence. Just like the person currently sat next to you does – and we’re not writing a story about him/her, are we (although we do in fact take requests), so let’s move taylorswiftly on to something that is newsworthy, like the fact that the Oscar winner’s sweaty bra has just sold at auction for $3,493. It was bought from Gap, is a size 36C and was worn in Silver Lining Playbook. According to urban legend, if you roll it up in baccy and smoke it you see a vision of Jennifer riding a unicorn without a bra on.

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