What Celebrities Are Doing

Having not actually seen Ralph Fiennes modern adaptation of Shakespeare’s Coriolanus we couldn’t possibly comment on whether it’s any good or not. Looking at the trailer we’d agree with one YouTube commenter who said it looked like we finally get to see Voldemort fight Leonidas. Either way, the book of the film certainly seems to have been quite popular.

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Poor celebs, missing out on the glorious January sales and suffering from jet lag just so they can have a little bit of Caribbean sunshine. If you squint your eyes and look out of the window, you can probably pretend you’re there – in their hotel suite’s wet room at least…

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On the one hand, it’s probably important to talk about the stuff UNICEF does (yeah, we had to go to Wikipedia for most of it too), since this is their charity gala (tickets were $2,500 each) yet on the other it would be simply rude of us not to mention that good old SJPs feet look like a street map of central London. See, there’s Hyde Park and Regent’s Park just above it? In fact, you can even see Camden Road disappearing up her trouser leg.

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So, Jessica Jane-Clement has been voted off I’m A Celeb. It’s not entirely surprising, given that no-one really knew who she was before she went in, and then, when she turned out to be relatively normal and unwilling to do all kinds of sexy stuff with Mark Wright due to a previous engagement, she kind of sealed her own death warrant. Still, it now leaves Mark and Emily to continue their awkward camera romance. Isn’t it nice when people get together for publicity? Really warms your heart.

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Guys, we know you were all waiting for topless pictures of Fatima Whitbread, but you’re just going to have to make do with Jessica-Jane Clement. For the moment. We’ve been doing a bit of research and have discovered that she enjoys getting her boobs out quite a bit. What’s more, she seems to have pulled a Real Hustle-style con by making them miraculously grow in recent years. Baffling. Don’t worry, we’ll investigate this mystery further when she takes her obligatory waterfall bikini shower next week.

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They’re just taking the piss now, aren’t they? First Cosmo were all like ‘here are the women of the year’, then Harper’s were all ‘actually, these are’, and now Glamour have only gone and come up with very own list. We just don’t know who to believe. We were going go with Glamour because we’re a sucker for a-listers, but they’ve included the entire Bush clan, so maybe we’ll go back to Cosmo’s list because they had Amanda Holden and she seems nice. OR maybe we’ll just do our own list and show them all. One step at a time though.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Along with Liz Hurley, Sarah Jessica Parker attended a horse racing event in Australia. In news only slightly related, a woman in the US has been found not guilty of animal cruelty after she was photographed posing inside a horse. A dead horse – deader than the one everyone keeps flogging when talking about SJP’s face. Still, if she must attend the races…

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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