What Celebrities Are Doing

Ooh, look, it’s Keira Knightley starring as Coco Chanel in the upcoming Coco Chanel short film directed by none other than Karl Lagerlagerlagerlagerfeld! You can tell it is super classy because there’s an old fashioned car and it’s in black and white and it’s about the founder of a fashion house that now makes bags that easily cost twice as much as a month’s rent. 

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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In a blow for the marketing campaign to get more kids buying £65 bottles of Coco Mademoiselle, Keira Knightley’s Chanel advert has been banned from being broadcast around children’s TV. NOOOOO!!!!

Apparently a single complaint was made to the Advertising Standards Authority after the “overtly sexual” ad was shown during Ice Age 2. In retaliation, the brand argued that Coco Chanel was “known for being a strong, independent woman” and that the character in the ad was intended to reflect her spirit and embody the fragrance itself, what with her zipping around Paris on a scooter before fondling a photographer. It added that “sexual charge” was common in purfume ads but while the character was playful and sensual, she was not overtly sexual – and her telling the photographer to “lock the door” was a distraction because the next shot showed that she had left (the tease!).

Compliance organisation Clearcast backed-up Chanel’s response, saying that “while there was a sexual frisson, it was more akin to flirtation and there was no kissing or fondling”.

Yadda yadda – fondling, heavy petting blah blah, it didn’t do any good because the ASA upheld the complaint and banned it (from kid’s TV), saying: 

“The ASA acknowledged that the undressing in the ad took place in the context of a photo shoot but nevertheless considered those scenes involved sexually suggestive content.

“We noted that the photographer was directly involved in unzipping the actress’s garments and that there was a suggestion that she was naked aside from a bed sheet. We also noted that there was clear sexual tension between the pair and that they appeared about to kiss on the bed.

“We noted that Ice Age 2 was of particular appeal to children. We considered the ad was suitable for older children, but that the sexually suggestive material was unsuitable for young children.

“We therefore concluded that the ad was inappropriately scheduled and an ex-kids restriction should have been applied to prevent the ad from being broadcast in or around children’s programming.

“The ad must not be broadcast again in its current form in or around programmes of particular appeal to children.”

Knowing Keira, she was just shouting, “lock the door, mummy – it’s drafty in the parlour!”

Sexual stuff indeed.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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What a year it’s been, eh? Some stuff happened and some celebrities wore clothes. Here are the top ten best outfits that we loved this year, in no particular order.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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In the past there have been moments where perhaps we’ve said bad things about Keira Knightley. Something about her acting perhaps. Or about her nomination for sexiest woman ever. But those are all in the past. Now we’re on Keira’s side. We’ll go and watch all her films, no matter how dull she may be in them, and we’ll watch all her interviews because we genuinely want to know more about her.

OK, FINE. THERE’S NO WAY WE’RE GOING TO DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS, BECAUSE WE STILL ENJOY WATCHING FILMS THAT AREN’T TERRIBLE, AND AFTER LOVE ACTUALLY WE KNOW PRETTY MUCH ALL WE’LL EVER NEED TO KNOW ABOUT HER. BUT AT LEAST WE’RE NOT AS BAD AS THE PAPARAZZI.

Well, not yet, anyway.

 ”There was a time when the price of photographs were going up for [famous] women in any state of undress or mental turmoil or anything. The men who get paid for taking these pictures were getting incredibly hostile – nearly violent – and we’re talking about packs of about 20 of them, shouting at me, spitting at me, trying to pick fights with every guy you’re out with, in order to produce a picture and get a lot of money.

“And it was getting particularly nasty. The price of everybody’s head was going up. Some people went the legal route. And I ran… I’d hit a wall and needed to step back in order to learn the things I needed to learn.”

Send a shiver down your spine, doesn’t it?

OK, FINE. IT SENDS A SHIVER DOWN OUR SPINES. BUT COME ON THOUGH, ALL WE DO IS WRITE WORDS. HOW BAD CAN WORDS BE…?

Never mind.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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You know what the kids are into now? Not Harry Potter, that’s old. Not Twilight, that’s over. No, the kids like Tolstoy now. They’re well into it. It’s The Cossacks this, War and Peace that, “Can I have a The Death of Ivan Ilyich lunchbox please, mum?” You know how they are. Anyway, last night (September 4) saw the London premiere of Joe Wright’s adaptation of Anna Karenina – the tale of tragic romance between Russian poshos, starring Keira Knightley, Jude Law, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Uggie as their faithful but mischievous furry friend. Hang on, I’m just being told that last bit isn’t true. Ah well, we’re sure the film is a right hoot even without a comedy dog. Just look at the nice pictures from the premiere, with Benedict Cumberbatch, Matthew MacFadyen, Olivia Williams, Laura Bailey, Anna Popplewell and a load of other people including Lucy Jones! Yes, Lucy Jones who you used to fancy off of X Factor.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Karl Lagerfeld’s a miserable old bugger, despite his name making him sound like a heavy drinking scouse. It’s probably those high collars he so dearly loves, restricting blood flow to the pleasure centre of his brain. Whinge whinge whinge. That’s all we ever hear.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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It looks like Keira Knightley has had enough. Enough of the fame and enough of the huge amounts of cash that go along with it. Enough of you and enough of me. Most of all though, she’s had enough of the paparazzi and those awful celebrity websites. Awful, awful sites.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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