What Celebrities Are Doing

Last week, Spencer started dating Lucy, Andy and Louise got close, Jamie got a shitty new tattoo and Mark Francis did flower arranging. But who is fussing over whose merkin this week?

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Last week on Made In Chelsea, Jamie and Tara sort of broke up, Andy kissed Fran and Spencer insisted that he and Louise have been ex-fucking. But who is giving whom a tingly feeling in their Damaris pants this week?

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The annual FHM 100 Sexiest Women list is out on Thursday and we personally can’t wait to get our hands on it. It’s like bingo. Phwooooar, look at the smooth skin on number 53, eh lads! And what about number 78′s child bearing hips? It’s a shame she’s only half as hot as number 39. Mind you, number 39′s three times uglier than number 13, so she’s in no position to gloat! Phwoooar.

Phwooaaar.

Anyway, the above pictures of Louise Trumpden-Forthwright VI from Maid An Chalsea were taken as she changed into her swan baiting outfit. It might look like she knew that she was being pictured, but sadly she’s quite, quite blind. Horrible incident with a gin bottle and a riding crop. Either way, FHM has them and they be in their magazine for you to look at on Thursday. This Thursday.

Phwaoooaaaoooooar.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Millie Mackintosh has been through a lot during her time on Made In Chelsea. She slapped Spencer that time, and she’s probably thrown a drink over someone at some point (Hugo? that feels right) and she has crumpled her lovely little face like a sad toddler more times than we can count. And now it seems that Millie, who has been in the show since the very beginning, might be leaving amid a row over her upcoming nuptials.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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You might have noticed that we didn’t blog Made In Chelsea last week or the week before. We humbly apologise, but we missed it because of a diamond mine collapsing/a colonic going wrong/grief over Magaret Thatcher’s death/<insert your own posh-person excuse here>. At first we thought we would catch up on all we’d missed before last night’s episode, you know, get back into the swing of things. Then we thought we’d actually rather die than watch three hours of Made In Chelsea back to back. So we didn’t. After all, how hard can it be to work out what we’ve missed? Well, very hard, it turns out…

OK, so from the PREVIOUSLY segment, it seems like Lucy and her naughty vagina are still causing problems, most specifically with Spencer and his naughty penis. Louise threw, what, a napkin or something, at Spencer. That bird Francis liked is now bumping posh bits with Ollie (who, by the way, is just DASHING). Jamie Biscuits has A GIRLFRIEND but is still drawn to Lucy and her naughty vagina (quelle surprise, Jamie literally fancies everything including tables). 

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Because the weather was slightly less than horrible, we didn’t watch any of the TV talent shows this weekend. Why bother when we have YouTube? But Britain’s Got Talent found a few potential stars – all of whom made Amanda go all wobbly lipped. The Voice simply found Cleo, formerly of teenpop trio Cleopatra. She’s still really good. Though what she thinks she’ll achieve by going on that shitshow goodness only knows.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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