What Celebrities Are Doing

Professional twat, and the owner of a face we would describe as “upsetting to children” and “plain wrong”, Spencer Matthews has expressed his great sadness and regret at choosing a winner for The Bachelor who ended up wandering off and snogging some commoner from off of The Only Way Is Essex only two weeks after the final aired.

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Living up to the standards of a team leader, Clay Matthews feels, will keep anyone from saying anything about a sophomore slump.

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