What Celebrities Are Doing

The picures you’ve been waiting to see of Bernie Ecclestone’s daughter without any clothes on are here. You’ll notice she has both breasts and the required lower sex organs, thereby classifying her without a doubt as female. She has smooth skin, enjoys pouting and probably not poutine. Honestly, that’s pretty much all we can say about her. Enjoy her nudity!

If you’re interested in getting your hands on a set of paper-based images similar to the ones above except in much higher resolution, Playboy.com also do a magazine which you can pick up at newsagents and in a few years time once it’s been thoroughly read, also under a hedgerow near a school.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Presented without comment.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Allure do a thing every year where they get famous women to take pff their clothes. IN THAT RESPECT THEY’RE A BIT LIKE HUGH HEFNER. Except they do it in a classy, professional way, using less velour and velvet, emphasising plastic and towelling over comfort. AND DON’T FORGET THE NEUTRAL TONES. THERE’S NOTHING SEXUAL ABOUT NEUTRAL TONES.

Joining House’s Jennifer Morrison in this year’s shoot are Naya Rivera from Glee, Clare Bowen from Nashville and Christa Miller from Scrubs. Wonderful. Let’s all celebate the female form together.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Based on the Irvine Welsh book of the same name, James McAvoy stars in a film about the word cunt, based in Scotland. It also seems to star Billy Elliott as a fellow cunt enthusiast. Accoding to the source of all opinion-based knowledge, Wikipedia, here’s a summary of what to expect:

Bruce Robertson is a detective sergeant serving in Edinburgh’s “Lothian Constabulary”. Robertson is an intensely misanthropic man driven by intense hatred, and is fuelled by his penchant for “the games” — Bruce’s euphemism for the myriad foul plots he hatches directed at workmates. He is also addicted to cocaine, and is sexually abusive towards the women in his life. He is able to indulge in non-stop sex and drug use during his annual holidays to Amsterdam.

Sounds like a laugh a minute.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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We present to you these pictures of Chanelle Hayes from this weeks issue of Nuts without comment. After all, what is there left to say about the chest-based attention seeker?…

Oh ok, just the one quote then:

“I’m obsessed with arms but I hate my own. I think they look like legs coming out of my shoulders”

Wonderful stuff.

Nuts is out now.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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The above picture was posted on Coronation Street actress Michelle Keegan’s instagram last night, albeit for only six seconds. As you can see, it’s a picture of a healthy human woman’s chest. Naturally, Michelle Keegan immediately fired back, saying that they weren’t her breasts, and that it was all just a hilarious practical joke played by a friend:

“Phahahahahahahahaha @hmonners I’m gonna absolutely KILL u!!!! I’m CHANGING MY PASSWORD!! #touché u gave as good a u got!

“@iamNoelle: Everyone,you can calm down now its not @michkeegan ‘s chest. #SickJoke i was gonna frame that pic like….” THANKYOU! Haha!x

“@MarkPicken10: gutted it wasn’t @michkeegan’s tits on instagram” hahahahahaha!!!! Funny though!! I wouldnt mind! xx

Twitters going crazy! … Sorry to disappoint guys, but they’re not mine! Hahahahahaha!!!!! #Brilliant x”

And yet…

Only hours earlier she tweeted this:

“Now… I’m happy ☺ #chilltime #metime #abouttime”

While at the same time as talking to her boyfriend Mark Wright.

THE PLOT THICKENS.

FOR MORE AMAZING TWITTER PICTURES, JUST TAKE A LOOK HERE.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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If we didn’t have as many pictures of Helen Flanagan as we do, this would probably have been Quote of the Day. But as it is, we’ve got enough space for both. Anyway, here’s what helen had to say about her newest, most taxing role, that of a bullying victim in a film called Bitch:

“It’s really gritty and it’s terrible actually because it’s based on a true story. It’s tragic. The girls who did it are in prison now.”

Sounds fucking awful. Not the film of course, the idea of Helen Flanagan in a film. Although the film itself hardly sounds like Citizen Kane. Still, who cares, eh? It’s a recession and we must all do what we can to get by.

HELEN FLANAGAN GALLERY TIME. OH, THE NSFW WAS FOR HELEN’S GIMUNGOUS CLEAVAGE. YOU WON’T SEE ANY NIPS UP THERE I’M AFRAID.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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