What Celebrities Are Doing

In a blow for the marketing campaign to get more kids buying £65 bottles of Coco Mademoiselle, Keira Knightley’s Chanel advert has been banned from being broadcast around children’s TV. NOOOOO!!!!

Apparently a single complaint was made to the Advertising Standards Authority after the “overtly sexual” ad was shown during Ice Age 2. In retaliation, the brand argued that Coco Chanel was “known for being a strong, independent woman” and that the character in the ad was intended to reflect her spirit and embody the fragrance itself, what with her zipping around Paris on a scooter before fondling a photographer. It added that “sexual charge” was common in purfume ads but while the character was playful and sensual, she was not overtly sexual – and her telling the photographer to “lock the door” was a distraction because the next shot showed that she had left (the tease!).

Compliance organisation Clearcast backed-up Chanel’s response, saying that “while there was a sexual frisson, it was more akin to flirtation and there was no kissing or fondling”.

Yadda yadda – fondling, heavy petting blah blah, it didn’t do any good because the ASA upheld the complaint and banned it (from kid’s TV), saying: 

“The ASA acknowledged that the undressing in the ad took place in the context of a photo shoot but nevertheless considered those scenes involved sexually suggestive content.

“We noted that the photographer was directly involved in unzipping the actress’s garments and that there was a suggestion that she was naked aside from a bed sheet. We also noted that there was clear sexual tension between the pair and that they appeared about to kiss on the bed.

“We noted that Ice Age 2 was of particular appeal to children. We considered the ad was suitable for older children, but that the sexually suggestive material was unsuitable for young children.

“We therefore concluded that the ad was inappropriately scheduled and an ex-kids restriction should have been applied to prevent the ad from being broadcast in or around children’s programming.

“The ad must not be broadcast again in its current form in or around programmes of particular appeal to children.”

Knowing Keira, she was just shouting, “lock the door, mummy – it’s drafty in the parlour!”

Sexual stuff indeed.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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What did you do last night? If you weren’t at a launch party for a celebrity fragrance that is a black liquid and copies the molecular structure of semen and blood, then frankly you need to re-evlauate your social life.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Everyone loves Cher Lloyd. Alright, probably not everyone but most people. Most people love Cher Lloyd. Ok, not most. Some people love Cher Lloyd, but we’ve never met any. But there are some. Actually, there are a fuck of a lot as her perfume (which she didn’t even make) has flown off the shelves at £15 a pop. That’s more than her album costs and yet thousands of people love Cher Lloyd enough to buy a bottle of sticky, smelly liquid just because it has her name on it. And she’s just had a platinum selling single in the US. And has 2.2 million Twitter followers. What’s going on?

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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The cast of Geordie Shore have decided to launch a perfume. The smell they chose for their new scent was doner kebab. It’s not a joke and it is an advertising stunt, but it’s certainly one we’re more than happy to go along with. Doner kebab perfume. How has that not been made already?

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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We’re still doing our best to ease you back into a life of dreary monotony with a selection of nice musical things you can look forward to in 2012. Here’s a teaser track called All Waters, from the upcoming second album by Perfume Genius (aka Seattle’s Michael Hadreas). If you ask us, it sounds like the Art Garfunkel/David Lynch collaboration that should totally happen but probably won’t.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Look, here’s Katy Perry flogging her brand new fragrance Pussy’s Hungry in Los Angeles. We imagine it’s delicious. Some people have mentioned the fact that, y’know, her and Russell might have had an extra little surprise this Christmas, but we’re much more interested in her reenactment of Leo in Titantic. And, to be honest, we’re not even really interested in that. She is blonde now though. Whatever next, Perry, whatever next.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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For those of you who decided not to watch Strictly Come Dancing last Sunday, it seems as if your favourite show X Factor has once again come under attack by those stick-in-the-muds at Ofcom. The very same ones who decided Amanda Holden was inappropriately promoting a law firm in her interview on This Morning a few weeks ago. As if she would do something like that. She’s in Shrek The Musical, for cripe’s sake.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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