What Celebrities Are Doing

Katy Perry has a new video for single Part of Me out where she simpers about her failed marriage, dresses up as squaddie and tapes down her breasts like Hilary Swank in Boys Don’t Cry. Or maybe that girl who recently got arrested for dressing up as a guy and kissing girls, which is what Perry likes to do anyway.

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The Sims 3: Showtime is out next week, and since there seem to be a disproportionate number of you out there with unsettling megalomaniacal tendencies (‘Make a room, wall your Sim inside, fill it full of microwaves and a swimming pool and then, voila! They swim themselves to death or they burn’) we thought you’d want to see an exclusive behind the scenes video of Katy Perry.

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Following on from Nicole Farhi recently calling it ‘abominable’ that celebs get paid thousands to sit on the front row at fashion week, here are some celebs sitting on the front row at fashion week. Abominable? Katy Perry’s outfit certainly is.

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Look! It’s a whole heap of people who do acting and modeling and singing for a living, all going to Oscar parties that cost more than the national debt of many a small African country. What fun they don’t yet appear to be having, with their faces all injected full of arse and poison. Elton John’s looks like it would’ve been a laugh. The Vanity Fair one just looks like Madame Tussauds had a glitzy relaunch. 

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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What’s the emoticon for divorce? Happy face? Sad face? Confused face? Huge big LOL? Pair of full stops in facing brackets? Any might be appropriate in the Katy Perry-Russell Brand saga, although perhaps not on the official legal documents. Perry can’t stop herself though. In fact, we’re surprised she didn’t spell her abbreviated first name ‘Katie’ just so had a resting place for a nice squiggly heart (purple biro, always). She’s also doodled a heart. We get the idea she mistook her lawyer for a fan. It happens.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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No shit goes down on Mark Wahlberg’s watch - not 9/11, not overcrowding at the box office, and definitely not a co-star’s breast being squeezed at a Katy Perry gig…

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Here’s Russell Brand visiting a tattoo parlour in  Los Angeles. Is calling a tattoo parlour a ‘tattoo parlour’ a bit like calling a work’s man outfit and ‘work man’s outfit’? Perhaps people who visit ‘tattoo parlours’ are the ones who call tattoos ‘tats’ and talk about getting ‘inked up’? Anyway, this tattoo establishment doesn’t look especially savoury to us, but we doubt Brand was there long. We actually suspect – and this is purely speculation, you understand? – he was there to talk to a man about getting his Katy Perry tattoo scribbled over. It’s not her name – if it was, he could change it to ‘Raty Berry’, it’s some kind of matching spiritual typography they got which probably reads ‘these two won’t last – I’m a pretend monk and even I know that’.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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