What Celebrities Are Doing

In news that will surprise and depress in equal measure, Macaulay Culkin and Pete Doherty have moved in together in Paris. Presumably because they have a lot of hobbies in common, such as the purchase and ingestion of class A drugs. What japes they’ll get into, we can hardly imagine, though the aforementioned purchase and ingestion of class A drugs is likely to figure heavily.

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It’s Pete Doherty’s 34th birthday! That’s right, the shiny, scabby potato headed ‘artiste’ has managed to survive yet another year scraping out a living by reminding people he was once in a band, and he once went out with Kate Moss.

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There’s nothing we don’t love about this story of Pete Townshend of The Who telling a seven-year-old girl to fuck off. Nothing. It would be enough if it was just that. But Pete’s groveling but ultimately blame-avoiding apology is the kind of thing which makes us glad we haven’t died before we got old. Or something. We’ll work on that bit.

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Washington Times (blog)

NFL playoffs: Seahawks' Pete Carroll, Redskins' Mike Shanahan take different … Washington Times (blog) Pete Carroll is “excitable” and “enthusiastic” to Mike Shanahan. The Seattle Seahawks coach's energy is “unbelievable” and “unmatchable” in the words of his starting quarterback, Russell Wilson. Now he's back in the NFL playoffs, visiting the … NFL Playoffs Land in Region: Redskins, Ravens Play SundayPatch.com Countdown Daily AccuScore: IND-BALESPN Young quarterbacks leading half the NFL playoff teamsBostonglobe NewsOK.com -Field Gulls all 1,095 news articles »

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Interviewing Pete Burns is difficult. Not because the Dead Or Alive frontman and Big Brother’s Bit On The Side star isn’t at all times charming, engaging and forthcoming. He really is. But because he clearly subscribes to the Quentin Crisp philosophy of interviews: say what you have come to say. So here’s Pete Burns answering almost none of our questions but being incredibly fascinating and entertaining all the same. Enjoy.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Pete Doherty’s ability to get press attention, despite having written only one ok album, is nothing short of remarkable. It’s fair to say that a lot of it is because of his attachment to the uber-trendy party drug heroin, but even then; he’s not 27, he hasn’t made anything of interest for at least five years, and by the number of chins he’s supporting, it doesn’t even look like he’s going to die soon – these three things being the most important points  when naming a ‘tortured musician’. Surely just having a taste for smack and the means to afford it can’t be that interesting? Maybe it’s because he lives in Paris. Because everything in Paris is utterly fascinating. Boulangeries for example.

Having said that, he’s still got a fair number of staunch supporters, the kind of people who’ll leave comments under articles about Pete, stating that he’s an ‘alleged’ murderer and that his pictures of genitalia drawn in his own blood are ‘conceptual’. In general, these are probably the kind of people you wouldn’t want to meet in real life, but perhaps they’re the ones who are keeping the Pete Doherty phenomenon alive. Believe us, if people didn’t look at the stories about him, we wouldn’t put them up. Remember Johnny Borrell? Exactly.

The Guardian seem to be of the same opinion as us (AS USUAL, AM I RIGHT? TWO PEAS IN A POD, THAT’S WHAT WE ARE) and as such they recently interviewed Doherty about his new film, Utterly In Seine which is supposed to be terrible. We haven’t seen it, and won’t be, but luckily he also discussed the other things he’d been doing, like going to sleep and having breakfast.

“It’s not actually that exciting to be fucked up all the time. The rush that you get from having a good night’s sleep is so exotic: to feel powerful and clean, capable and potent, as opposed to washed up, impotent and mute. It’s like if you sing and you’ve been up for four nights, your voice is puny and has no power. The difference when you’ve rested and had a banana in the morning, it’s outrageous! You can scare yourself sometimes with what a bit of healthy living can do.”

Hands up anyone who believed a word of that? Good. He then goes on to explain at length how he’s kind of dying, but at a similar speed to most other people:

“The other day I really hadn’t slept since last week’s gig at Brixton Jamm, and I was coming home on the Eurostar. I fell asleep for an hour, woke up and didn’t know who I was. I was completely devastated and I burst into tears. The train was parked up. Apparently I’d been shouting in my sleep as well, so they’d just left me. I knew I shouldn’t be crying. The train manager said: ‘What’s the matter?’ I told him straight: ‘Look, I don’t know who I am, I don’t know where I am.’ He said: ‘You’re Peter.’ And I was going: ‘No, no, I’m not.’ Then bang, everything flooded back. I got my bag and ran off. But it was a really horrible feeling and I can imagine it in a few years just lasting longer and longer.”

“I’m not a suicidal person at all, but on paper it seems that I am. I think I’m really quite horrible to myself in many ways. You always think it’s going to be fine, the body will repair itself. There will be another chance. But I’m 33 now. The body won’t keep repairing itself. You know when you can flick a coin and catch it on your elbow, and flick it up and catch it on the back of your head? And then you can’t even catch it with two hands any more. You realise something is wrong”

Finally, he then told the interviewer how simply being in Paris can help someone kick their awful heroin habit. Which is incidentally why he’s there, and not, as you might have suspected, because he still falsely believes he’s a creative genius who just needs the right envronment to flourish.

No, you’d have to be a real mug to think that, especially when the proof to the contrary is so overwhelming:

“Being in Paris is me making a statement of intent. It’s like saying: ‘I’m trying.’ Because it’s so difficult to get decent gear over here. And I’ve got to make an effort now for my family, my son, my father. I’m not 23 any more, I’m 33, for Christ’s sake! And the time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things, not just smack.”

One of the other interesting things that popped up in the article was this front cover of French magazine Rock and Folk, for an issue that was originally printed when the Libertines first came to France. Ten points to whoever translates it first….

[Via The Guardian]

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The image of Pete Doherty sweating like a sautéed chorizo on top of Amy Winehouse probably isn’t something you wanted to think about today, but we’re afraid you’ll have to – the scab in a pork pie hat has revealed that the pair were ‘lovers’ – in a sexual sense, not sharing a mutual appreciation of a similar thing sense. He said it was ‘difficult for him to admit’, but went ahead and told the Mail on Sunday anyway, probably because the paper has always shown such sympathy to convicted criminals with drug problems…

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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