What Celebrities Are Doing

As you may remember from a story we put up last last month, wicked sea trout and destroyer of hotel phones Naomi Campbell has accused Cadbury of being a massive bunch of racist scumbags after they created an advertising campaign in which she was compared to Bliss, a new chocolate snack. Seems a little bit risque, huh? It would have been, except for the fact they were comparing her to Bliss because she’s such an awful temperamental shit, not because she has black skin. Of course, that’s not how she saw it. Possibly because she’s an awful, temperamental shit.

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The thing about racism is that people don’t like being discriminated against because of the colour of their skin. Mainly because it doesn’t make any sense to do so, even in Essex. A perfect example is how saying ‘bloody hell, she’s orange!’ can actually cause real offense when used about girls from Essex, the politically correct term of course being ‘person of classless origin’. Don’t worry though, discriminating against someone because they are fat or stupid or ugly is still absolutely fine. Thank God for small mercies.

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What’s going on in Kate Moss’ friendship group? Fresh from John Galliano ill-advisedly voicing his opinions in gassing and Naomi Campbell getting embroiled in a race war over a bar of chocolate, comes the news that her BFF James Brown is in in trouble for hurling racial abuse at a black presenter during last weeks BAFTA awards.

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Not sure if John Galliano is ‘cured’ or just out of facial absorbent paper, but he’s no longer in rehab – he was spotted getting heckled at LAX over the weekend…

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LA Weekly have printed an excerpt from a book by Neil Strauss “Everybody Loves You When You’re Dead” in which Paris Hilton does absolutely nothing towards dispelling the myth that she’s a hateful, over-priviledged cow with too much money and not enough brain in dat head.

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We know you’ve been waiting for it, so here it is, Karl Lagerfeld’s response to John Galliano’s recent spot of naughtiness. Let’s just say Karl is not happy, at all, and thinks the former head at Dior has brought the fashion industry into disrepute, after all, it’s about coke, anorexia and broken dreams, not fascism and silly hats.

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We’ve seen some pretty heavy condemnation of John Galliano in the last few days, admittedly not enormously surprising given that he openly declared his love for genocidal dictator Adolf Hitler after a few crème de menthe (why didn’t he just go with Gaddafi? Same kind of thing, but much more topical), but still, doesn’t everyone deserve a chance?

Yes John, of course they do. See? Hitler wouldn’t have given you that, would he? Plus, he gassed and shot quite a few homosexuals as far as we remember, so there’s a possibility you wouldn’t have even been able to declare your love in the first place. What a Grandfather paradox this whole mixed up situation’s turned out to be.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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