What Celebrities Are Doing

Not that it’s any of our business but Calvin Harris and Rita Ora are properly holding hands now. That’s nice, isn’t it? We’ve never met Rita, we’ve only concluded that we wouldn’t like her from all the things she’s said and done. But you shouldn’t really judge a person by all the things they’ve said and done, should you? We’ve met Calvin once. He was very nice. But possibly drunk. So we’re not in a position to say whether this special pop union will last. What do you think? No really. What do you think will happen to these people you recognise from pop music but don’t actually know?

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London last night was a real cunt-souper. The two people you’d least like to be sandwiched between on a long-haul flight – Rita Ora and Cara Delevingne decided they should attend the birthday bash of “party organiser” Fran Cutler at The Box in Soho.  Not just them. Two Geldofs, Kate Moss and her wide-eyed husband Jamie Hince, Sadie Frost, Rhys Ifans, Stella McCartney, Meg Matthews and Noel Fielding made it a veritable Live Aid of liggers. Sad to have missed it.

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At the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, they got Justin Bieber and Rihanna to perform while all the ladies paraded round in pants, but France is classier than that shit, guys. They booked Lily Allen for the Etam lingerie show. Unfortunately, they also booked Rita Ora. But hey, nobody’s perfect.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Rita Ora is fucking everywhere. You’d be mistaken for thinking she’s popular. But she isn’t. Not in any meaningful sense. And with good reason – she’s awful. Just our opinion of course. Although we think you’ll find we’re right. But the real question is, is she more awful than her obnoxious bff Cara Delevingne, or is she about the same?

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Paris Fashion Week is arguably the most fashiony of the fashion weeks, so everyone gets all dressed up to the nines. Of course, it’s also bloody freezing in Paris right now, so these celebs have variously wrapped up warm and chic, or are suffering the freezing temperatures to show off their fashion chops (Rita Ora, we’re looking at you).

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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Jeez people, can’t we all just get along? Well no. Not if you’re one of those popular rap singers they have now. Rita Ora has been firing off some top Twitter swears at some arsepiece off of Geordie Shore who claimed that the Primark Rihanna was doing the no shorts dance with Jay Z. While top-tipped hip hopper Azealia Banks and tipped-for-the-top rhymer Angel Haze went at it like two Gallaghers in a sack. But who won?

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As we reported this morning, Rob Kardashian and Rita Ora have split up because of her pesky little habit of boinking randoms whilst conveniently forgetting she’s dating the world’s most morally unimpeachable family.

For the full story and all the pics go to Holy moly!

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