What Celebrities Are Doing

As we covered yesterday, Strictly Come Dancing is finished and that means, of course, that it’s time for a party. So last night, at the One for One club in London that’s what they all did. Amir Khan, Anita Dobson, Arlene Philips, Brian May, Charlie Brooks, Gary Rhodes, Len Goodman, Mark Ramprakash, Nancy Dell’olio and Ola Jordan all turned up, and thoughtfully, Nancy Oliviolio decided not to wear a red leather dress this time. Oh Sven, what were you thinking. 

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Picture this hypothetical scene; Bruce Forsyth introduces Strictly Come Dancing contestant Edwina Currie, who steps out onto the floor in a white toga. After some provocative grinding against a pole, her outfit is whipped off by her partner to reveal a pair of gold painted breasts. The pair then simulate sex, with Currie being doused in wine before her thong is removed off reveal a clean shaved vagina. Unlikely. Unless you’re in Argentina, of course.

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Yesterday we received an anonymous message addressed to “Strictly Come Dancing fans”. This is what it said…

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The single reason for Strictly Come Dancing to continue as a format is so that we can all watch celebrities lose weight. Lose weight and stop acting like self-entitled bastards. We’re not talking about all the celebs by the way, just the token overweight shitbots they put in every series to show us that fat people dancing is exactly as funny as it is in your imagination. For some reason the correlation between eating well, exercising and dancing at a professional level doesn’t seem to hit the tubsters until they first waddle onto the dancefloor, and then, after that life-changing epiphany it’s pretty much a one person elevator to happiness.

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It’s one of the lesser-watched reality talent shows here at HM – we prefer watching Louis Walsh make inane comparisons of X Factor contestants to Lenny Henry on a Saturday evening – but we’re still always intrigued to hear which celebrities are making up the Strictly Come Dancing line-up every year. For some unknown reason, it’s one of the only reality shows which mildly famous celebs are willing to do, despite the fact they have to dress in lycra and prance about like a twat in front of 10million+ viewers every weekend. And, going by the rumoured line-up, this year is pretty similar – with the odd Wikipedia search thrown in…

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Forsyth: ‘Kay would be great Strictly host’
Bruce Forsyth backs Vernon Kay to take over as host of Strictly Come Dancing when he leaves.

Read more on Digital Spy

In today’s titillating pictures; Kara Tointon hits new career high as the face of Michelle for George at Asda, Sharon Stone looks as mad as a box of frogs, Sharon Osbourne and her plastic face, Kate Bosworth needs more burgers, high res does nothing for Pixie Lott’s complexion, Dj Ironik looking like a prized knob, snaggle tooth at the Bvlgari bash, the most beautiful woman in the world (after Amanda Lepore) and Alicia Silverstone back, back, back!

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