What Celebrities Are Doing

It’s the National Television Awards! Woo! Yeah! Hip hip hooray! Best of all, you can watch it on television, which in some ways makes you the biggest couch potato ever and in others makes you the best thing since Two Pints of Lager finished!

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SALT LAKE CITY – Elizabeth Smart is engaged, and plans to marry in the summer of 2012.

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As you’ve may have heard, Sinead O’Connor’s pre-Christmas marriage wasn’t quite the eternal bonding of body, mind and soul that she had hoped it would be be, lasting as it did for only 16 days, which could only really be considered an eternity if you’re terminally ill.

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Rachel Uchitel, one of Tiger Woods’ reported former mistresses, is five months pregnant with new husband Matt Hahn.

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Unless you’re marrying for a quickie passport or attention like Kim Kardashian, you probably wouldn’t really consider heading down the aisle without having so much as kissed your bride/groom first, but The Virgin Diaries, which launches in the US this weekend, follows couples for whom that’s a reality. Obviously they haven’t had sex either, otherwise they’d just be applying the same rule as prostitutes. Anyway, check out the above clip for the most awkward screen kiss since Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia. 

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Following on from the news that Kris Humphries wasn’t actually Kim Kardashian’s first choice of a fake husband, the basketball/hockey/baseball/soccer(?) player might have actually taken a moment to wonder what the hell was going on with his life – it’s being reported that the couple are filing for divorce today. That’s 72 days after the big TV wedding. Oh deary dear, that’s even shorter than her first marriage – although more lucrative at least.

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If we’d been at Kim Kardashian’s wedding, we’d have given her a stool – a nice steaming stool sample boxed up in gift wrap with a bow, although it was actually a small chair that the socialite wishes she’d had; apparently the multimillion dollar event was overshadowed by her shortness. Or, rather, she was overshadowed by the groom, which is obviously completely unacceptable because the day was about her not him.

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